The Private Detective?

Yesterday afternoon, I arrived at a local hair salon to pick up my daughter from her appointment. According to Yelp, it’s classified as a $$$$ Hair Salon and Spa. Not too shabby. I was surprised when an older man sitting across from me piped up with, “Nice day to be in the barbershop, right?”

“Uhm, sure,” I said. ‘Barbershop’ is not how I’d classify this establishment, but who cared? Immediately I grabbed my phone and scanned for something to entertain myself as I waited.

Now, we’ve all experienced the feeling someone is staring at you as you do your best to ignore them. And I was getting this vibe from the dude who thought he was in a barbershop. Soon, I’d run the gamut of phone entertainment options and perused the magazines displayed on the table in front of me.

No sooner had I looked up from Martha Stewart’s Living, when staring barbershop guy approached with his arm outstretched.

“Do you mind if I give you my card,” he asked? “In case you ever need it. I’m a private detective.”

My first thought: Great. I look like someone who needs a private detective. My second thought: Eh, what the hell?

“Ha! Well, I’m a writer,” I said. “We should talk.” I chuckled and took his card.

He then proceeded to fill me in on a double-murder case he’s investigating–which also included international child trafficking, a state-police cover-up, and a slew of other sketchy characters.

Well, you don’t say? And people ask me where I get my writing ideas?

Confession from a serial shopper.

I’ll tell you a secret. I love to shop at the big box stores. There’s something liberating about buying the stuff you love in gigantic quantities. I mean, who wants to run out of toilet paper? Or dryer sheets? Or frozen chicken breasts; aptly dubbed  ‘chicken bricks’ by my husband.

One thing I disagree with, however, is their packaging. It’s wonderful to get a great price on mass quantities of products you use on a regular basis, but do they have to make it so damn difficult to actually unleash the products?

I understand they package some of these products, like razor blades, multi-packs of deodorant, and the ginormous plastic bag of chicken breasts the way they do for a reason, but I’m not sure what that might be. In fact, it’s often so difficult to open some of these multi-pack containers, I have named this dilemma “adult-proof packaging.”

The other day, my husband approached me carrying a plastic encased supply of razor blades; which even at the big box stores, cost a fortune. He waved them in front of me and said, “Do you have any scissors I can borrow to open this?” He then proceeded to grab my cuticle scissors and attempted to open the razor blades.

Of course, being me, I grabbed the tiny scissors from his hand, screaming, “NO!!! Not those scissors!” I then reached into my vanity drawer and produced sturdy scissors more suited for this job. Eventually, after a great deal of sawing, pulling and tearing, the razor blades were freed from their plastic prison.

Now, let me tell you my next beef: Trying to fit that empty package casing into my tiny bathroom trashcan. It doesn’t work.

 

 

 

Welcome to Sandy’s Snarky Snippets!

Welcome! In my blog posts I hope to engage and entertain with observations and anecdotes about my writing and my life. I am a writer, wife, mother, and animal lover who enjoys cooking, reading, gardening and doling out unsolicited advice to my adult children.

In January 2018, I published my first novel, Money Man, a dark comedic look into one man’s journey to find a new career path. I hope you’ll check it out and let me know what you think.